Allison brought Dahlia to Richard's Swing party. This was Dahlia's first time dancing. She was cute. With a big smile she said, "What do I do?".

I got her in Closed position. Her hand rested in mine naturally, with no tension, like you stand when holding hands with someone. She was relaxed. I started shifting my weight slowly from one foot to the other. She felt my body move and she matched what I was doing. Slowly we worked up to changing the tempo. After a few songs were able to somewhat keep a slow, slow, quick, quick rhythm and she could turn a bit, all without me telling her what to do.

I told her, "Right now, you are perfect, but other people are going to try to change you."

When I got back to her an hour later, she was already devolving. She was no longer comfortable. She was doing the basic step by rote. Her fingers were grasping at my hands. She was off balance. It was astonishing to see the subconscious manifest itself so quickly from equanimity to anxiety.

The natural state is relaxed, without tension. Reminded me of some years ago at a ballroom studio. I was dancing with a woman who was a great Folk dancer, but an inexperienced Swing dancer. She rested her hand in mine the same way Dahlia originally did, comfortably with no tension. I was inclined to tell her to give me some weight, since that was what I was taught, but I thought, this woman is such a good dancer, that if she naturally does not use tension, it must be right. Back then she danced like a butterfly.

Swing dancing can train you to go from dancing like a butterfly to dancing like a caterpillar.