The other day in my beginning swing class, I heard a guy say "I am sorry" to his partner.

A lot of the time when my partner apologizes, it happens after I tried something I never tried before and I caused the problem, not her. I like to say, "Dancing means never having to say your sorry. Always blame your partner."

Some dancing is too judgemental. I am not saying that because of the Sacred Grooving. I have been saying that since a friend of mine quit tango after four years of class, having never had the nerve to go to a milonga, because some people in class were so judgemental he could not enjoy himself, his words, not mine.

When my partner apologizes without my help in messing her up, I like to say, "That is OK. This is live. We are going to mess up some. When we shoot the video, we can do a re-take."

Everyone has to go through all the same stages. You do not need anyone's approval to have fun while you are learning. Do not apologize for how you are dancing. If you suck, as Christian would say, "embrace your suckiness."

The big problem is lack of confidence, not lack of skill. As the choreographer Moshiko Halevy says, "Make mistakes with confidence."

We need a new rule. Dance without apology.